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Phyllis's Blog: Reflections from the Road
Insights on race, racial conditioning, and unity in diversity, mixed in with stories about living on the road in an RV.

You know a little about me already if you’ve read my bio or excerpts of my stories. I am the co-author of the book Longing: Stories of Racial Healing, and I am the female half of a team that attempts to function like the two wings of a bird. My purpose here is to share some of the many stories that were not included in our book. Actually these blog posts will contain reflections from two different roads – the asphalt kind that connects one city to another, and the less concrete road leading to a society where racial diversity is highly valued.

I urge you to share your comments and to let me know if there is anything in particular you would like to read about. I’d be glad to use this blog as a vehicle for answering questions about the book’s topic, the principles that have guided our journey, or the joys and challenges of an RVing lifestyle.

Okay, Terry, we'll admit you knew what you were talking about Print E-mail

Short post today because things are heating up here in Newport, Oregon. Time to start moving stuff out of our “temporary” apartment and into the RV. Twelve more days and we’ll be on the road again, after a year and a half of sitting still.

Today is May 1st, 2010. It is the official release date of our book - a date we’ve been anticipating for a very, very long time. At one point, nearly three years ago, we thought our publication date would be in the spring of 2009; when our editor told us it would be a year later, it felt like a tremendous loss and we weren’t sure we knew how to wait patiently. Many of you knew our editor, Terry Cassiday. She has since departed this world and joined that host of angels who are guiding us from afar. When we expressed our dismay at what we perceived as a setback, Terry reminded us that this entire project – the original journey, the race unity work, the stories that became a book – was never our idea to begin with. From its inception, this undertaking has been the result of divine inspiration, divine intervention, divine nudging. She also assured us that the problem of racial prejudice was not going be solved between May 2009 and May 2010, that there would still be a need for our book, and that – like everything else – the timing of its release was being arranged by a wisdom far greater than our own. We often wonder if she had some premonition of what was coming. To say that the timing is perfect is . . . well . . . a bit of an understatement. And she promised that when it happened, it would be wonderful.

Last Thursday evening we did our very first reading as real authors. While we’ve been sharing many of our stories around the country for years, there was something quite different about Thursday. You know how people say about amazing events that it felt like a dream? And how the rest of us think that is so trite? Well let me tell you something – trite or not, it felt like a dream. Like when I’ve just climbed onto a horse and am ready for a gallop, then suddenly I wake up with a rush of disappointment. It wasn’t real; it was only a dream. That’s how I felt Thursday – like I might wake up at any moment and realize that I never actually wrote a book at all; I only imagined it. When we walked into the room at OSU, there were copies of our book, laid out in rows on a table. I heard one young lady say as she walked in, “Oh look! The book is here!” It was surreal. Then we read our stories – not from lined notebook paper with hand-written scribbles, not from computer printouts of unedited electronic files, but from a rectangular, three-dimensional object with pages that are glued together. We gave love to our audience; they gave love back. And when we were done, people paid actual dollars for those copies on the table and then stood in line, waiting for us to sign them! After every signature I looked up and wondered, “Is this going to be the moment when the phone rings, or Gene shifts his position in bed, or a dog barks, and I wake up, look around at the bedroom, and slowly become aware that none of this really happened?”

Apparently I’m still sleeping, because there’s another reading coming up tomorrow and Gene is over at the RV park doing last minute maintenance on our trailer. Things are piled by the front door, ready to be relocated into MUCH SMALLER closets and drawers. Managers of RV parks in Georgia, Texas, and Massachusetts are emailing me confirmations of our reservations. Friends are calling to schedule events in Little Rock, Chicago, and San Diego. I haven’t lost the 40 pounds I had hoped to shed before we set out, but other than that, everything is nearly ready to go. Maybe if I take a brisk, half-hour walk every day between now and May 12th . . .

And Terry Cassiday is looking over my shoulder whispering excitedly in my ear, “I told you so! I told you so!” The dream is unfolding before our eyes. We don’t know exactly what’s going to happen at every turn, but we’re okay with that. It is a little bit stressful and a little bit scary. It has been and will continue to be a whole lot of hard work. It is sometimes exhausting, more often exhilarating. And it is wonderful. So very wonderful.

Spiked at the library Print E-mail

Here is another story that was too short to be included in the book.

A few years ago I was working on finishing my degree at DePaul University. Gene and I had parked our RV at a scenic, forested campground on a lake in a far-flung northwestern suburb of Chicago. It was a lovely spot with winding lanes, a well-stocked store staffed by friendly people,  a sandy beach, and paddle boats. In fact it offered everything a camper might need – everything, that is, except internet access. And so I drove every day to a small local library about 15 minutes away to research an essay I was writing for one of my course requirements.

One day a group of about eight high school students came into the computer room where I was working.  They were a diverse bunch of young people; their clothing and hairstyles proclaimed their unwillingness to conform to some arbitrary standard of correctness.

Velcro Kids Print E-mail
Gene and I have written many stories that didn’t end up in our book, and I’d often wondered how we could make them available for people to read. Now we have a way to do that. I’ll be posting these anecdotes from time to time; like the stories in our book, they are all true, although I’ve changed people’s names to protect their privacy. They’re also first drafts and so are somewhat unpolished, but I hope they give you something to think about. This first one takes place in Connecticut, in October of 1997, a short time after we started traveling.


A lively group of people had gathered at the home of our friend Kathryn; they were so happy to see each other that one might think they’d been apart for years, when in fact we had all been together the previous day.  The festive, boisterous atmosphere grew as more guests arrived for the evening’s program of devotions and fellowship.  I could see only one subdued spot in the whole room; on the couch, Laurie and her two children sat still and close together, creating their own little island of quiet in a sea of buzzing activity.
What is my role as a white person? Print E-mail

I’ve been so busy arranging our tour (and swooning from the feedback of people who have begun reading our book!) that it’s been quite difficult to keep up with my blog posts. So I thought today I might pose a question or two – and hopefully start a discussion – based on this article, which was posted by my Facebook friend Jane this morning:   Read Conversations: Embracing Our African Roots

Those of us who are white have never been slave-owners, even if some of our forefathers were. It’s not our fault what happened to black folks back in the days of slavery, right?

How this whole thing got started Print E-mail

Honey Bee“Consider this the most important time in your lives.”  That’s what he told us. He said other things too, like “Make your mark, and make it now!” And “Do something that’s completely out of the ordinary.” The date of this beginning was September 13, 1996. The place—such an enduringly magical place!—was Green Lake, Wisconsin. Bees so thick that you always check inside your can of soda before you take a swig. Lake water a hue of blue that could blind, decorated with isosceles boat sails, churned by the urgent pumping of paddle-boater legs. The best of everything that autumn has to offer.

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